Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo's "He's Just Not That Into You"

Clearly the most liberating book I've read that totally changed my mind about dating and relationships. For years, my girlfriends and I mulled over the complexities of our relationships, pseudo-relationships and other so-called dealings with the opposite sex over coffee, when clearly, most of them just translate to the guys' lack of interest in the women in their lives. So why are we wasting our time?

Yes Gen, it's not as if we women don't know these things. It's just that we like to make things complicated, maybe it's because taken as it is, life is just too boring for us members of the better gender. Guys, on the other hand, tend to oversimplify everything else, primarily because their brains will short-circuit from thinking too much! Hahaha. What you see is what you get, and there's really no underlying reason for their behaviors.

Letters from fictitious women oftentimes in ridiculous situations illustrate Greg's simple yet very sensible arguments; the answers that women would not rather hear hehehe. His in-your-face, brotherly approach will just make you say to yourself, "Have I really gone that crazy tolerating that bastard?" Let these nuggets of wisdom (in verbatim) take you on the road to recovery and self-appreciation (well at least the ones that got me hook, line and sinker):

1. Men would rather lose an arm out to a city bus window than tell you simply "you're not the one".
2. The whole "I don't want to ruin the friendship" excuse works so well because it seems so wise. Sex could mess up a friendship. Unfortunately, in the entire history of mankind, that excuse has never ever been used by someone who actually means it.
3. Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. Especially when the chase is a long one.
4. If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
5. Men are never too busy to get what they want, and they don't forget how much they like you.
6. Women should think: "when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep". (Nice one, Greg!)
7. Don't spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you. (Gotcha!)
8. Sometimes you have to get closure by yourself.
9. No answer is your answer.
10. Don't give him a chance to reject you again.
11. If you really love someone, you want to do things to make that person happy.
12. There is no reason to yell at anyone ever, unless you are screaming "LOOK OUT FOR THAT BUS!" (I think naiyak ako sa kakatawa with this one.)
13. Why would you allow him to perform conversational masturbation on you? (Mwahahaha! We definitely know this guy, di ba Kirs?!)
14. When two people are connected, they hunger for information about each other, a sliver of what life is like when you're not together, a glimpse into their past, a peek into their mind, all in the hopes of getting under their skin.
15. You already have one asshole. You don't need another. (Smart! Haha!)
16. You are exceptional, but not the exception.
17. Don't let his personal complications confuse you into waiting around for him. (This guy does exist, alright.)
18. I don't need to know you to know that at the very least you ought to think that way about yourself.
19. Believe that life will turn out well, because you have to other choice but to believe that.
20. The only way you can find out that there's something better out there is to first believe there's something better out there.

Reading the book did not make a pessimist out of me, but rather a more hopeful, happy single girl. There were guys who used to be into me, and there wasn't a need to analyze their actions then, because it was clear that they were. I'm now sure of what I'm looking for and I realized that minutes of confusion and worry only translate to lost opportunities to be happy.